Porodična golotinja....šta mislite?

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  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Back when I was a practicing psychologist, I sometimes heard about "family nudity" being an issue.  Some moms and dads freely were nude in front of their kids.  Others felt their kids should never see them naked. 

    The conflicts occured when one parent was comfortable being nude in front of the kids while the other was not.  This scenario often became the source of great marital strife. 

    Also, parent's gender was a factor in the issue.  Mom was okay being nude in front of daughters, but not sons.  Then another mother was okay being nude in front of sons which bothered the husband.  Or, the father was nude in front of daughters which bothered the mother, etc.

    Now, our family is not "nudist" in any way.  Everyone bathes and changes behind closed doors.  Our nanny came from a French culture and we had to tone her down a bit about nudity, but she accepted that fine.

    So.....what is your family's attitude toward nudity?  Has it caused in conflicts or problems?

    Kada sam bio psiholog, ponekad sam čuo da je „porodična golotinja“ problem. Neke mame i tate su slobodno bili goli pred svojom decom. Drugi su smatrali da njihova deca nikada ne bi trebalo da ih vide gole.

    Do sukoba je došlo kada je jednom roditelju bilo prijatno da bude gol pred decom, a drugom nije. Ovaj scenario je često postajao izvor velikih bračnih svađa.

    Takođe, pol roditelja je bio faktor u pitanju. Mami je bilo u redu biti gola pred ćerkama, ali ne i sinovima. Onda je drugoj majci bilo u redu da bude gola pred sinovima što je mužu smetalo. Ili, otac je bio gol pred ćerkama što je smetalo majci itd.

    Sada naša porodica nije ni na koji način „nudistička“. Svi se kupaju i presvlače iza zatvorenih vrata. Naša dadilja je došla iz francuske kulture i morali smo da je malo ublažimo zbog golotinje, ali ona je to dobro prihvatila.

    Pa..... kakav je stav vaše porodice prema golotinji? Da li je to izazvalo sukobe ili probleme?

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    My family...men in shorts/ boxers, women in shorts, sportsbra, tanktop
    everyone is comfortable with this

    Moja porodica...muškarci u šortsama/boksericama, žene u šortsama, sportskim grudnjacima, majicama
    svima je ovo ugodno

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski
    Hiya Doc,

    I was brought up in a family that you didn't even wear a a night shirt that would show your panties. I don't think it is a good idea at all to walk around nude in front of family members.

    I could be totally off the mark here and that's where you come in if i am wrong.... But i equate nudity to sexual arousal. While i understand that families who do practice nudity have no sexual connotations at all i still think it can lessen physical attraction.

    I can't help but feel that being exposed to nudity regularly takes away from that seduction and intimacy that should be shared between to people. If i look at my male family members bopping around the house than what is gonna turn me on and be special between me an my partner when i have been taught that its non sexual.

    I think that part of arousal is seeing things that are not seen on a regular basis. That forbidden fruit that only is shared between two people only heightens sexual desire.

    I would be curious to know if any studies on this have been done and what affects it had on intimacy.

    Lips
    Zdravo Doc,

    Odgajan sam u porodici u kojoj nisi čak ni obukao noćnu košulju na kojoj bi se videle tvoje gaćice. Mislim da uopšte nije dobra ideja hodati goli pred članovima porodice.

    Mogao bih da budem potpuno pogrešio ovde i tu dolazite ako grešim... Ali ja izjednačavam golotinju sa seksualnim uzbuđenjem. Iako razumem da porodice koje praktikuju golotinju uopšte nemaju seksualne konotacije, ipak mislim da to može smanjiti fizičku privlačnost.

    Ne mogu a da ne osećam da redovno izlaganje golotinji oduzima tu zavodljivost i intimnost koju treba podeliti sa ljudima. Ako pogledam svoje muške članove porodice kako skakuću po kući, ono što će me napaliti i biti posebno između mene i mog partnera kada su me naučili da nije seksualno.

    Mislim da je deo uzbuđenja viđenje stvari koje se ne viđaju redovno. To zabranjeno voće koje samo dvoje ljudi dele samo pojačava seksualnu želju.

    Bio bih znatiželjan da znam da li su rađene bilo kakve studije o tome i kakav je uticaj imao na intimnost.

    Usne
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Same here, i grew up being always dressed appropriately around family, and that went on with my own daughter. When she was little before the age of the sexual and gender curiosity, we did take showers and there were times she was around while dressing, but i do think alot of parents experience this, such as little sisters showering together, big familys with small children.. up til that age when we start to become our individual.

    No nudity around the house and around her father, both he and i would have felt uncomfortable around her. I beleive the site does entice the mind and it can't be helped to think in a sexual way, you have no idea what the person is thinking, even it being the father, mother, sister or brother.

    Yes we could have the feeling, you seen one you seen the all.. but not for me, i too would want to have that special feeling and thank goodness i did, and nudity around the house was spared.. otherwise moments being shared between two would never feel good, i wouldn't feel like his special bidness was any of mine, if he/she is thinking about or sharing it prancing around the living room

    Isto tako, ja sam odrastao u porodici uvek prikladno obučen, a to se nastavilo i sa mojom rođenom ćerkom. Kada je bila mala pre nego što je bila seksualna i rodna radoznalost, tuširali smo se i bilo je trenutaka da je bila u blizini dok se oblačila, ali mislim da mnogi roditelji to doživljavaju, kao što su male sestre koje se zajedno tuširaju, velike porodice sa malom decom .. do onog doba kada počinjemo da postajemo naša individua.

    Bez golotinje po kući i oko njenog oca, i on i ja bismo se osećali neprijatno u njenoj blizini. Verujem da sajt mami um i ne može se pomoći da se razmišlja na seksualni način, nemate pojma šta osoba misli, čak i da je to otac, majka, sestra ili brat.

    Da, mogli smo da imamo osećaj, videli ste jedan koji ste videli sve.. ali ne za mene, i ja bih želeo da imam taj poseban osećaj i hvala Bogu da jesam, a golotinja po kući je bila pošteđena.. inače trenuci dele između dvoje se nikada ne bi osećali dobro, ne bih se osećao kao da je njegova specijalna želja bila moja, ako on/ona razmišlja o tome ili deli to šećući se po dnevnoj sobi

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    I don't bebop around naked in front of my son, but I try not to make a big deal out of it. I don't want him to feel insecure with himself. My daughter is 10, but she is physically and developmentally delayed and she still enjoys the occasional bath with me. We cuddle naked in the warm water and she seems to enjoy physical contact where she might shun from it otherwise. It is one of the most enjoyable times to be with her. On a different note, I still have to change her pullups, but I try to do it in private, she deserves to have the same respect as others.

    Ne lutam gola pred svojim sinom, ali trudim se da ne napravim veliku stvar od toga. Ne želim da se oseća nesigurno u sebe. Moja ćerka ima 10 godina, ali je fizički i razvojno zaostala i još uvek uživa u povremenom kupanju sa mnom. Mazimo se goli u toploj vodi i čini se da uživa u fizičkom kontaktu gde bi se inače klonila. Jedno je od najlepših trenutaka biti sa njom. Sa druge strane, još uvek moram da promenim njene zgibove, ali pokušavam da to uradim privatno, ona zaslužuje isto poštovanje kao i drugi.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    nonononono!  I once followed my dad to the bathroom during a commercial break, and saw a site that was not that pretty to me.  He had left the door open and got really mad.  I was just curious, I guess,  not trying to see something but wondering I guess what I wasn't seeing. 

    When my son was small he had the uncanny knack of walking in while I was changing a shirt.  I think my reaction was worse than any other "feeling" he might have gotten.  I told this story to an old highschool friend (male) once and he said they didn't have that problem at his house-they practiced nudity and everyone was fine with it.  I was a bit surprised but tried to hide the uncomfortable thoughts in my head.

    My mom was in her eighties when she died.  I had never seen her naked but had to help her get dressed one time.  Though her face was old and wrinkly, the rest of her was actually very nice looking.  She had very nice breasts, nice for someone much younger,even!  I was surprised and I wish I had the chance to tell her how beautiful she was.

    I once was acquainted with a divorced man with two young sons.  I'm not sure what the nudity factor was at home, but if the boys found a naked Barbie doll, they would comment that she was "nude".  Nude isn't a word I expected from 5-7 yr old boys or girls.  But their dad was heavy into porn and I'm sure they knew all about what adult males and females looked like in many different positions.  That was just gross...

    ne ne ne ne ne! Jednom sam pratio svog tatu do kupatila tokom reklamne pauze i video sajt koji mi nije bio tako lep. Ostavio je otvorena vrata i stvarno se naljutio. Bio sam samo radoznao, pretpostavljam, nisam pokušavao da vidim nešto, već sam se pitao, pretpostavljam šta ne vidim.

    Kada je moj sin bio mali imao je neobičnu sposobnost da uđe dok sam menjala košulju. Mislim da je moja reakcija bila gora od bilo kog drugog "osećaja" koji je možda dobio. Jednom sam ispričao ovu priču jednom starom prijatelju iz srednje škole (muškarcu) i on je rekao da nemaju taj problem u njegovoj kući - vežbali su golotinju i svi su bili u redu sa tim. Bio sam pomalo iznenađen, ali sam pokušao da sakrijem neprijatne misli u glavi.

    Moja mama je bila u osamdesetim kada je umrla. Nikada je nisam video golu, ali sam joj jednom morao pomoći da se obuče. Iako je njeno lice bilo staro i naborano, ostatak je zapravo izgledao veoma lepo. Imala je veoma lepe grudi, lepe za nekog mnogo mlađeg, čak! Bio sam iznenađen i voleo bih da sam imao priliku da joj kažem koliko je lepa.

    Jednom sam poznavao jednog razvedenog čoveka sa dva mlada sina. Nisam siguran koji je faktor golotinje bio kod kuće, ali ako bi dečaci pronašli golu Barbi lutku, komentarisali bi da je „gola“. Gola nije reč koju sam očekivao od dečaka ili devojčica od 5-7 godina. Ali njihov tata je bio jako zaljubljen u pornografiju i siguran sam da su znali sve o tome kako odrasli muškarci i žene izgledaju na mnogo različitih pozicija. To je bilo odvratno...

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    In my professional opinion, there is some chance of emotional harm with an over indulgence of family nudity.  For example, if a 12-13 year old son often gets an erection while viewing his nude mother, this can very well cause issues later for him. 

    Also, if teenage girls are nude infront of dad, this can also create problems on an emotional/ sexual develpmental level, too.

    I always advised parents that bathing with the "2 year old is fine."  But, privacy is to be desired in general. 

    Po mom profesionalnom mišljenju, postoji izvesna šansa za emocionalnu štetu sa preteranim uživanjem u porodičnoj golotinji. Na primer, ako sin od 12-13 godina često dobije erekciju dok gleda svoju golu majku, to može izazvati probleme kasnije za njega.

    Takođe, ako su tinejdžerke gole pred tatom, to takođe može stvoriti probleme na emocionalnom/seksualnom razvoju.

    Uvek sam savetovao roditelje da je kupanje sa "dvogodišnjakom dobro". Ali, privatnost je uopšte poželjna.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    My 3 year old couldn't care less who's naked, going potty, where they are, she doesn't really understand the privacy factor yet.  We don't make a big deal of it either, when she walks in we just act normal but I have started saying 'mommy is getting dressed sis go play i'll be right there'.  Of course this is so I can have a second of quiet smiley  My husband is a nudie more than myself, he doesn't mind at all if the kids come and chat with him while he's taking a shower.  My 5 year old son is much more private and has stopped coming in during showers/changing etc.  He did it on his own, not something we enforced.  So I guess you could say we are not nudists, but if the kids happen to see us getting dressed we don't make a big deal out of it at all.  I have seen some families who have a weekly 'naked hot tub night' where everyone jumps in nude and they chat etc.  I'm talking teens too.  They can do what they want, but I find that to be over the top weird.

    Moju 3-godišnjakinju nije briga ko je gol, ide na nošu, gde su, ona još uvek ne razume faktor privatnosti. Ni mi ne radimo mnogo od toga, kada ona uđe, ponašamo se normalno, ali ja sam počeo da govorim 'mama se oblači seko idi igraj se, dolazim odmah'. Naravno, ovo je zato da mogu da se smirim na trenutak smiley Moj muž je golotinja više od mene, uopšte mu ne smeta ako deca dođu i ćaskaju sa njim dok se tušira. Moj petogodišnji sin je mnogo privatniji i prestao je da dolazi tokom tuširanja/presvlačenja itd. Uradio je to na svoju ruku, a ne nešto što smo mi nametali. Dakle, pretpostavljam da biste mogli reći da nismo nudisti, ali ako nas deca vide kako se oblačimo, uopšte ne pravimo veliku stvar od toga. Video sam neke porodice koje imaju nedeljnu 'noć u goloj kadi' gde svi skaču goli i ćaskaju itd. Govorim i o tinejdžerima. Oni mogu da rade šta žele, ali smatram da je to krajnje čudno.

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