Smešne božićne stvari

Farting Elves 12 Days of Christmas

Share your funny pics, videos or songs. Anything goes

Lmao haha!! Thank you froggy, we gonna have some fun in this thread.. many a laughs coming lol..

Not only the song in this one, but the pictures got me rolling!!!

have a click at this video..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8oE03m1IbU&feature=related



and i love this picture...

LMAOO OMG!! now i can't get it out of my HEAD!!!!

omg...reindeer button......no sleep for me

lmaoooooo you guys are killin me!!!!! Poor Santa i never realized what he had to endure!

When i was around seven, I knew what I wanted for Christmas.  I knew I was getting it.  I couldn't see life without getting it for Christmas.  It had to be.
Y'all know how smart I am (lol).  My Dad thought he would play a little game with me.  He said I could open my present early if I could guess what it was.  (bicycle!  bicycle! I was thinking in my head)
He said he would give me a hint.  It started with the letter A.

Silly Daddy - it's "A" bicycle!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I was right.

That is too cute! Your daddy's jaw must of dropped! What a smart little girl you were!

yes, I didn't often get a chance to outsmart my dad.  I still remember how tickled I was at the time.

Omg i just watched that video and it has to be about the most hilarious, cutest xmas video i have ever seen!

oooopppsssss

back by popular demand...

elf bowling!

www.freechristmasscreensavers.com/elfbowling.htm

I actually have 1 of the Elf Bowling games downloaded on my computer. It's freakin' hillarious & fun 2 play.

Christmas Napoleon Style

National Lampoon Christmas Vacation Dinner Scene

Police stop my car (feliz navidad)

Thats gotta be my fav movie of all time for Christmas!

Santa couldn't make all of the deliveries, the kids were outside on Christmas Day wondering what happened.  All of a sudden there was a crash in one of the driveways.  It was a 1967 battered Buick with what appeared to be Chris Kringle?....No it was Kris Tinkle (Santa had gotten tired and sent in the temporary replacement.  "Hey kids...."....Waaa...We want Santa...said the kids (as the parents were examining the damage.)  "Well this is as close as you're gonna get...now help me push my car into the street..."

It's Homie Claus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8P9nuXNNsk&feature=related

Cuz Homie Claus don't play dat....

Christmas Booyons

Bahahahaaaa.. Christmas booyons.. spelt.. b u l b s... lmaoooooo

In case you haven't heard this song...

Randolph, the bow-legged cowboy had a very shiny guy
And if you ever saw it, you would turn around and run
All of the other cowboys used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Randolph play in any cowboy games!

Then one foggy Christmas eve, Sheriff came to say
"Randolph with your gun so bright, won't you kill my wife tonight?"
Then all the other cowboys laughed and shouted out with glee,
"Randolph, the bow-legged cowboy, you'll go to the penetintiary!"

Okay, maybe it was funnier in grade school, but it's still stuck in my head.
And now yours.  Merry Christmas!

On the Twelve Days of Christmas, My True Love Gave to Me . . .

December 14, 2003


Dearest Dave,

I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased darling!

With truly the deepest love,
Agnes

December 15, 2003

Dearest Dave,

Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.

With all of my love,
Your Agnes

December 16, 2003

Dearest Dave,

You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what more should I expect from such a nice person.

Love,
Agnes

December 17, 2003

Dear Dave,

Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.

Affectionately,
Agnes

December 18, 2003

Dearest darling Dave,

It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. You truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the previous days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, you managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!

All my love,
Agnes

December 19, 2003

Dear Dave,

When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.

Cordially,
Agnes

December 20, 2003

Dave,

What is with you and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny you weirdo, so stop with the birds.

Sincerely,
Agnes

December 21, 2003

O.K. wise guy,

The birds were bad enough. Now what do you expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined by them, and I can't move in my own house! Just lay off me or you'll be sorry!

Agnes

December 22, 2003

Hey loser,

What are you? You must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!

You'll get yours!
Agnes

December 23, 2003

You rotten scum!!!

There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a day all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! You creep! I'm sicking the police on you!

One who means it!

December 24, 2003

Listen you evil, sadistic, maniac!

What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death by the cows. I hope you are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!

Your sworn enemy,
Agnes

December 25, 2003

The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois

Dear sir,

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If you attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on site.

Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker

10 Things that Sound Dirty at Christmas, But Aren't

10. Did you get any under the tree?
9. I think your balls are hanging too low.
8. Check out Rudolph's Honker!
7. Santa's sack is really bulging.
6. Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean breath.
5. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
4. I love licking the end till it's really sharp and pointy.
3. From here you can't tell if they're artificial or real.
2. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
1. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.

Adorable sound dirty quotes!

Here is another one to add:

I want to empty Santa's sac 

lips you dirty girl!
<------- Santa's butt cheeks gotcha thinkin' huh?

Am i that obvious!  Sweet cheeks Santa.....

Three Wise Ones Reprised
by Paul Curtis

The three wise men
Travelled for days before reaching Bethlehem
And arrived after the birth
They stood and viewed the scene in awe
And knelt reverently in the lords presence
Then gave their gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh

The three wise women
Would have stopped to ask directions
And arrived before the birth
They would have delivered the baby
Then they would have cleaned the stable and cooked a meal
Before giving the baby really useful gifts

The three wise women
Leaving Bethlehem would be heard to say
“A virgin not likely, I know the family”
“That baby looks more like the shepherd than Joseph”
“Only a drama queen would choose to give birth in a stable”
“That Joseph is on the social you know”
“Well a lift home would have been nice”
“That angel was really snooty”

froggy, I thought your santa was showing how to make the bells jingle!

He is jingling his balls, er um.... I mean bells

Hahahahhahaha i love it!!! I love the second ornament. Some things just never leave you even after you have long moved on especially when it comes to humor and the er ah em poopy jokes 

That's for sure. Ahhhhhhhh memories

Hmmm, I wonder if a certain mod would love this?

hmmmmmm  :-\  :-\  :-\

Can i have a hint?

Lips

Well I don't know lips or should I say lipstick_xoxos. Looks like a pair of lipssssssssss to me

Ok fine, I got this for you to go with it LMAO

You are a naughty naughty girl!! 

LMAO, is that mooseltoe, or a door knocker!?!?!?!

omg some of those are so funny...i didn't know this was an anything goes thread, so i picked out a couple clean ones...hehe
Merrry Christmas! 

Omg i love the last one!!!!!!!!!

This one cracks me up.......

Police Stop My Car Feliz Navidad


Lips

Thanks for cleaning it up and getting me back on track jaybean LMAO!
Love it lips!

hey don't clean it up on my account....

i am used to getting sensored at one of my other forums all the time. to i have been trying to watch myself.
(its not easy for me, believe me)  hehe....

ok heres a couple more 

Say it ain't so.......

Sexy Santa..........mm mm mm!!

Some spiked Santa's coke!!



Lips

I'd like to see that hat stand up straight...