Momci udaraju žene........da li postoje izuzeci?

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  • Original engleski Prevod srpski
    Hi Guys and Dolls,

    Hitting a women is something that should never be allowed. Men are physically stronger and can pretty much knock out a woman with a single blow.

    Having said that......here is the twist. What if a woman hits her man repeatedly? I know someone who when angry.....gets very physical with her man. She has never been struck back by any guy she ever dated.

    Is there a time when a man should hit back? Hitting is a two way street.....hit me and i will hit you back.  If it becomes routine to hit your husband/boyfriend.......should he stand up and teach her a lesson to not hit again?

    Lips
    Zdravo momci i lutke,

    Udaranje žene je nešto što nikada ne bi trebalo dozvoliti. Muškarci su fizički jači i mogu prilično da nokautiraju ženu jednim udarcem.

    Rekavši to ......evo preokreta. Šta ako žena više puta udari svog muškarca? Znam nekoga ko kada je ljuta.....postaje veoma fizički sa svojim muškarcem. Nikada joj nije uzvratio nijedan momak sa kojim je izlazila.

    Da li postoji vreme kada čovek treba da uzvrati? Udaranje je dvosmerna ulica.....udari me i ja ću ti uzvratiti. Ako postane rutina udarati svog muža/dečka.......da li on treba da ustane i nauči je lekciju da više ne udara?

    Usne
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Lips......from my days as a family therapist I want to say there are MANY occurances of women hitting men....very violently.  That does NOT make hitting women more okay.  But, women often become violent.  I could tell utter horror stories.  But, here is the double standard:  Husband can be having the sh..t beat out of him by his wife and if he fights back....hmmmm...guess who the police drag off???

    Bottom line:  Men or women.  If you S.O. is violent.  LEAVE!  Go!  Do not stay with a violent person.

    Usne......iz mojih dana kao porodičnog terapeuta želim da kažem da ima MNOGO slučajeva da žene udaraju muškarce....veoma nasilno. To NE čini udaranje žena u redu. Ali žene često postaju nasilne. Mogao bih da pričam krajnje horor priče. Ali, evo dvostrukog standarda: muža može da muči njegova žena i ako uzvrati....hmmmm...pogodi koga policija odvlači???

    Zaključak: muškarci ili žene. Ako ste TAKO nasilni. PUSTI! Idi! Nemojte ostati sa nasilnom osobom.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Couldn't agree more, hitting is never appropriate, no matter who is doing it.  Best thing to do it leave. 

    Ne mogu se složiti više, udaranje nikada nije prikladno, bez obzira ko to radi. Najbolja stvar da to uradiš ostavi.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    You touched a nerve here Lips with your post.

    I was in a violent marriage - he used to beat me up, strangle me, bite me, thump the top of my head with his fist and so on.  It was the most traumatic time of my life and it was the hardest thing to leave because of the "I promise I won't do it again - Im really sorry" bull****. 

    I did leave after 4 and a half years and it was the best move I ever made and I should have done it sooner but I was young and naive. 

    Nobody, man or woman, should suffer at the hands of their partner and if a man ever laid a finger on me again, it would be over immediately regardless of my feelings, his feelings or any other circumstances.

    In my opinion, it is totally unacceptable regardless of who is doing it to whom.

    blue

    Dirnuo si nerv ovde Usne svojim postom.

    Bila sam u nasilnom braku - tukao me je, davio, ujeo, udarao pesnicom po glavi i tako dalje. Bilo je to najtraumatičnije vreme u mom životu i najteže je bilo otići zbog bika „Obećavam da to više neću – stvarno mi je žao”****.

    Otišao sam posle 4 i po godine i to je bio najbolji potez koji sam ikada napravio i trebalo je ranije, ali bio sam mlad i naivan.

    Niko, muškarac ili žena, ne bi trebalo da pati od ruke svog partnera i ako bi me muškarac ikada ponovo bacio prstom, odmah bi bilo gotovo bez obzira na moja osećanja, njegova osećanja ili bilo koje druge okolnosti.

    Po mom mišljenju, to je potpuno neprihvatljivo bez obzira ko to kome radi.

    Plavi

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Glad you had to courage to leave Blue. 

    Drago mi je što ste imali hrabrosti da napustite Blue.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    So sorry for your headache and hardship blue.
    I believe the best thing for anyone who has those problems (anger management problems with abuse, addictions) is to leave! Support and encourage them to go to counselling yes but never enable their problem. You always have the choice to 'go back' when the person is 'whole'
    [/quote]

    He will never be whole.  He held a knife to the throat of his second wife who also left him.  

    Thanks for your kind words 13oclock.

    [quote author=mistye81 link=topic=7149.msg50227#msg50227 date=1258067118]
    Glad you had to courage to leave Blue. 


    Thanks mistye81.  It was really hard - easy to say but way way different to do. 

    blue

    Žao mi je zbog vaše glavobolje i nevolje plave.
    Verujem da je najbolja stvar za svakoga ko ima te probleme (problemi upravljanja besom sa zlostavljanjem, zavisnosti) je da ode! Podržite ih i ohrabrite ih da idu u savetovalište da, ali nikada ne omogućavajte njihov problem. Uvek imate izbor da se „vratite“ kada je osoba „cela“
    [/citat]

    Nikada neće biti ceo. Svojoj drugoj ženi koja ga je takođe napustila, držao je nož pod grlom.

    Hvala na lepim rečima 13oclock.

    [kuote author=mistie81 link=topic=7149.msg50227#msg50227 date=1258067118]
    Drago mi je što ste imali hrabrosti da napustite Blue.


    Thanks mistie81. Bilo je zaista teško - lako je reći, ali sasvim drugačije uraditi.

    Plavi
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    You touched a nerve here Lips with your post.

    I was in a violent marriage - he used to beat me up, strangle me, bite me, thump the top of my head with his fist and so on.  It was the most traumatic time of my life and it was the hardest thing to leave because of the "I promise I won't do it again - Im really sorry" bull****. 

    I did leave after 4 and a half years and it was the best move I ever made and I should have done it sooner but I was young and naive. 

    Nobody, man or woman, should suffer at the hands of their partner and if a man ever laid a finger on me again, it would be over immediately regardless of my feelings, his feelings or any other circumstances.

    In my opinion, it is totally unacceptable regardless of who is doing it to whom.

    blue




    U seem like a strong woman, & I admire your courage.

    Dirnuo si nerv ovde Usne svojim postom.

    Bila sam u nasilnom braku - tukao me je, davio, ujeo, udarao pesnicom po glavi i tako dalje. Bilo je to najtraumatičnije vreme u mom životu i najteže je bilo otići zbog bika „Obećavam da to više neću – stvarno mi je žao”****.

    Otišao sam posle 4 i po godine i to je bio najbolji potez koji sam ikada napravio i trebalo je ranije, ali bio sam mlad i naivan.

    Niko, muškarac ili žena, ne bi trebalo da pati od ruke svog partnera i ako bi me muškarac ikada ponovo bacio prstom, odmah bi bilo gotovo bez obzira na moja osećanja, njegova osećanja ili bilo koje druge okolnosti.

    Po mom mišljenju, to je potpuno neprihvatljivo bez obzira ko to kome radi.

    Plavi




    Deluješ kao jaka žena i divim se tvojoj hrabrosti.
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    I'm sure there is "Exceptions" but if anyone starts to see their spouse even start to act a tad violent, they should leave or get them to seek mental health therapy.

    I don't really (Maybe blue could say)think that the person hasn't outgrown being a child when angry. Now, when I get angry at anyone, I just either walk away, or ask them to repeat what they said, it's not always what they say, but how.

    Siguran sam da postoje „izuzeci“, ali ako neko počne da vidi svog supružnika čak i da se ponaša pomalo nasilno, trebalo bi da ode ili da ih natera da potraže terapiju mentalnog zdravlja.

    Zaista (možda bi plava mogla reći) ne mislim da osoba nije prerasla da bude dete kada je ljuta. Sada, kada se naljutim na bilo koga, jednostavno ili odem, ili ih zamolim da ponove ono što su rekli, nije uvek ono što kažu, već kako.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Thanks Tinmanfan.  You're very kind.

    Genenco - there was no "anger" - it was just pure violence.  There was no hint whatsoever each time it happened and I'm sure there is no way he would have ever admitted he had a problem or that he needed an anger management course. 

    In fact I would say that a person suffering at the hands of their partner is not likely to suggest an anger management course because of fear of another attack.  I certainly would never have said anything like that to him.

    blue

    Hvala Tinmanfan. Veoma si ljubazan.

    Genenco - nije bilo "besa" - bilo je samo čisto nasilje. Nije bilo nagoveštaja svaki put kada se to desilo i siguran sam da nema šanse da bi ikada priznao da je imao problem ili da mu je potreban kurs upravljanja besom.

    U stvari, rekao bih da osoba koja pati od ruke svog partnera verovatno neće predložiti kurs upravljanja besom zbog straha od novog napada. Ja mu sigurno nikada ne bih rekao tako nešto.

    Plavi

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Blue.....glad you left.  I can tell you are WAY too good a woman to stay with that fellow.  (Well...even if you WEREN'T good, no one should abuse another!)

    Plavo..... drago mi je što si otišao. Mogu reći da ste PREviše dobra žena da ostanete sa tim momkom. (Pa... čak i da NISI BIO dobar, niko ne bi smeo da zlostavlja drugog!)

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    yeah, the double standard sucks. But i don't think the hitting of either partner is ever acceptable.
    if your female partner pops you, use whatever minimum phsical action is necessary to remove yourself from the picture, ie if you have to push her away at max, then leave your unhealthy relationship. seriously noone deserves to be hit
    I agree 13.....its not fair for a woman to hit a man either. I think you said it well.... if she is getting violent leave the unhealthy relationship.

    I just don't see the satisfaction in it. Some of the same tempers that flare also abuse our pets. It's senseless and cruel.

    Thanks for your thoughts!!!

    Lips

    da, dvostruki standardi su sranje. Ali ne mislim da je udaranje nijednog partnera ikada prihvatljivo.
    ako vas partnerka izbaci, upotrebite bilo koju minimalnu fizičku akciju koja je neophodna da se uklonite sa slike, tj. ako morate da je odgurnete na maksimum, onda napustite svoju nezdravu vezu. ozbiljno niko ne zaslužuje da bude pogođen
    Slažem se 13.....nije fer ni da žena udari muškarca. Mislim da si to dobro rekao.... ako postane nasilna, ostavi nezdravu vezu.

    Samo ne vidim zadovoljstvo u tome. Neki od istih temperamenta koji bukte takođe zlostavljaju naše ljubimce. To je besmisleno i okrutno.

    Hvala na vašim razmišljanjima!!!

    Usne
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Blue, you just a hero!!! To live in horror and fear for 4 and half years... shocked shocked It's really the best decision of your life!
    Agree there's no differences between two sexes! Men can suffer from cruelty not less than women do! I've even read that women are the most violent beings! then children and only then men...
    I always think about it...what all this can end up with!?!? injuries...disability...death...
    Actually my mum has had the same drama! sad I was little but I still remember those scenes!  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( So now it's one of my strongest fears! If I see only a little hint of violence from my boyfriend even if it's not in my direction, I leave this person! It's unacceptable for me!
    You know psychologists say that the majority of girls choose subconsciously their husbands, men who are like their fathers...I'll die if it happens to me! sad

    Plavi, ti samo heroj!!! Živeti u užasu i strahu 4 i po godine... shockedshocked To je zaista najbolja odluka u tvom životu!
    Slažete se da nema razlike između dva pola! Muškarci mogu patiti od okrutnosti ne manje nego žene! Čak sam pročitao da su žene najnasilnija bića! pa deca pa tek onda muškarci...
    Stalno razmišljam o tome...čime se sve ovo može završiti!?!? povrede...invalidnost...smrt...
    U stvari, moja mama je imala istu dramu! sad Bio sam mali, ali još uvek pamtim te scene! :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( Dakle, sada je to jedan od mojih najjačih strahova! Ako vidim samo mali nagoveštaj nasilja od svog dečka čak i ako nije u mom pravcu, ostavljam ovo osoba! Za mene je to neprihvatljivo!
    Znate, psiholozi kažu da većina devojaka podsvesno bira svoje muževe, muškarce koji su kao njihovi očevi... Umreću ako mi se to desi! sad

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Blue.....glad you left.  I can tell you are WAY too good a woman to stay with that fellow.  (Well...even if you WEREN'T good, no one should abuse another!)
    [/quote]

    Thanks drpsyce.  I was good - I am good lol.  He always acted like the spoilt child. 

    I truly never deserved it.

    [quote author=phibbie link=topic=7149.msg50303#msg50303 date=1258093408]
    Blue, you just a hero!!! To live in horror and fear for 4 and half years... shocked shocked It's really the best decision of your life!
    Agree there's no differences between two sexes! Men can suffer from cruelty not less than women do! I've even read that women are the most violent beings! then children and only then men...
    I always think about it...what all this can end up with!?!? injuries...disability...death...
    Actually my mum has had the same drama! sad I was little but I still remember those scenes!  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( So now it's one of my strongest fears! If I see only a little hint of violence from my boyfriend even if it's not in my direction, I leave this person! It's unacceptable for me!
    You know psychologists say that the majority of girls choose subconsciously their husbands, men who are like their fathers...I'll die if it happens to me! sad


    Thanks phibbie.  You're very kind.

    Sorry to hear that your mum suffered at the hands of your father.  Its hard to think about those times for you I'm sure.

    I couldn't say whether he was like my father as my father died when I was 2 so I never knew him at all.

    Sadly - it is easy to say "leave" but the truth is (and I don't really understand it myself) you put up with it.

    I guess each person has their "line" and once that line is crossed - thats when you take actrion and leave.

    I hope it never happens to you too phibbie.

    blue

    Plavo..... drago mi je što si otišao. Mogu reći da ste PREviše dobra žena da ostanete sa tim momkom. (Pa... čak i da NISI BIO dobar, niko ne bi smeo da zlostavlja drugog!)
    [/citat]

    Hvala drpsice. Bio sam dobar - dobar sam lol. Uvek se ponašao kao razmaženo dete.

    Zaista to nikada nisam zaslužio.

    [kuote author=phibbie link=topic=7149.msg50303#msg50303 date=1258093408]
    Plavi, ti samo heroj!!! Živeti u užasu i strahu 4 i po godine... shockedshocked To je zaista najbolja odluka u vašem životu!
    Slažem se da nema razlike između dva pola! Muškarci mogu patiti od okrutnosti ne manje nego žene! Čak sam čitao da su žene najnasilnija bića! onda deca i tek onda muškarci...
    Stalno razmišljam o tome...čime se sve ovo može završiti!?!? povrede...invalidnost...smrt...
    U stvari, moja mama je imala istu dramu! sad Bio sam mali, ali se sećam tih scena! :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( Dakle, sada je to jedan od mojih najjačih strahova! Ako vidim samo mali nagoveštaj nasilja od svog dečka čak i ako nije u mom pravcu, ostavljam ovo osoba! Za mene je to neprihvatljivo!
    Znate, psiholozi kažu da većina devojaka podsvesno bira svoje muževe, muškarce koji su kao njihovi očevi... Umreću ako mi se to desi! sad


    Hvala phibbie. Veoma si ljubazan.

    Žao mi je što čujem da je tvoja mama patila od ruke tvog oca. Teško je razmišljati o tim vremenima za tebe, siguran sam.

    Nisam mogao da kažem da li je bio kao moj otac, jer mi je otac umro kada sam imao dve godine, tako da ga uopšte nisam poznavao.

    Nažalost - lako je reći "odlazi", ali istina je (a ja to ni sam ne razumem) da to trpite.

    Pretpostavljam da svaka osoba ima svoju "linu" i kada se ta granica pređe - tada uzimate akciju i odlazite.

    Nadam se da se i tebi to nikada neće desiti, Fibi.

    Plavi
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Thanks blue! It's really important to me! kiss
    Agree that it's easy to say "leave", but to do it is rather difficult and painful! sad When you love...you want to believe him/her that everything will change or won't happen any more...but I'm convinced that if your partner hit you once, he/she will do it again! sad

    Hvala plavo! Zaista mi je važno! kiss
    Slažete se da je lako reći „odlazi“, ali to je prilično teško i bolno! sad Kad voliš...želiš da mu/joj veruješ da će se sve promeniti ili da se više neće dešavati...ali sam uverena da će, ako te partner jednom udari, ponoviti! sad

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