Postoji li tanka linija između lažnog i finog?

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  • Original engleski Prevod srpski
    Hi Lcb'ers,

    We have all been in situations where we have been in the company of someone we do not like. Whether it's a coworker, a neighbor or someones friend.

    Is it always correct to be polite no matter what? If so, would it be considered a phony or just showing some manners in a bad situation.

    There seems to be a fine line between being a phony and being nice. Have you ever walked away and regretted speaking to someone who you didn't like and felt you were not true to yourself?

    Lips
    Zdravo Lcb'ers,

    Svi smo bili u situacijama da smo bili u društvu nekoga ko nam se ne sviđa. Bilo da je u pitanju kolega, komšija ili nečiji prijatelj.

    Da li je uvek ispravno biti ljubazan bez obzira na sve? Ako jeste, da li bi se to smatralo lažnim ili samo pokazivanjem nekih manira u lošoj situaciji.

    Čini se da postoji tanka linija između biti lažan i biti fin. Da li ste ikada otišli i požalili što ste razgovarali sa nekim ko vam se nije dopao i koji ste osećali da niste verni sebi?

    Usne
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Yeah....we've all had to "grin and bear it."

    Da....svi smo morali da se "cerimo i trpimo".

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    debra.....I like your point.  Some social comentators would say we have become too nice.  Sometimes we have to love people enough to tell them the truth...and that is hard to do.

    debra.....Sviđa mi se tvoja poenta. Neki društveni komentatori bi rekli da smo postali previše fini. Ponekad moramo da volimo ljude dovoljno da im kažemo istinu...a to je teško uraditi.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    It's funny that you asked this question. Just yesterday was opening day for hunting,for those who know about me (spinalcord stim) I was acually feeling okay and maybe up to it...so i went knowing there was one of the hunters house that we could go and keep warm etc. it was our "meeting place" and other wives were there to cook, not hunt. I was the only female going on the hunt,and 5 other men. We did a couple of drives and decided we would go back to the house and when we did, they decided to go for "ONE MORE" by that time, I was hurting and knew I would not be of any good use and stayed behind. There was this couple there that I have never met before and the "husband" began talking to me while I was finishing my glass of wine, he asked me if I would like another, thank you with a nod of my head and his wife gave him a look, and boy if looks could kill! Here I was dressed in my camo, hair in a ponytail and my camo cap on, it was 3  pm and had been up since 4 am I am quite sure was nothing to look at! Her huffs and puffs could not go un-noticed!I know he was imbarrassed and excused himself and went to take a nap....I know all were uncomforable, to break the ice I guess, she jumped up and said let's play scrabble! Okay gang, believe it or not I have never played scrabble before EVER! I am sure she was snickering under her breath. Well, sure i'll play but I have never played before, so the game begins and she was off and on her way! She did win the game, but I did come in 2nd and only like 35 points away, she had all she could do but jump up and down and carry on, I really couldn't believe how "happy" she was to win----good for her I thought. He husband then came in right after our game was over and she yelled "Honey, I won, I won...." his comment GO FIGURE. I then chuckled.....thank god the guys came in and boy I could hardly get my boots on to leave! I guess she was the one that was fake and phoney, and I am sure it was more work for her then me! (using her brain and all!) lol p.s. She was the one who brought the game.......GO FIGURE!

    Smešno je što ste postavili ovo pitanje. Jučer je bio dan otvaranja za lov, za one koji znaju za mene (stim kičmene moždine) Osećao sam se dobro i možda sam bio spreman...pa sam otišao znajući da postoji jedna od lovačkih kuća u koju možemo da idemo da se grejemo itd. To je bilo naše "mesto sastanka" i druge žene su bile tu da kuvaju, a ne da love. Ja sam bila jedina žena koja je išla u lov i još 5 muškaraca. Napravili smo nekoliko vožnji i odlučili da se vratimo kući, a kada smo to uradili, odlučili su da odu na "JONEM MORE" do tada, bio sam povređen i znao sam da neću biti od koristi i ostao sam. Tamo je bio jedan par koji nikad ranije nisam srela i "muž" je počeo da priča sa mnom dok sam pila čašu vina, pitao me je da li bih želeo još jednu, hvala klimnuvši glavom i njegova žena je dala njega pogled, a dečaka da pogled može da ubije! Ovde sam bio obučen u svoju masku, kosu u rep i maskirnu kapu, bilo je 15 časova i bio sam budan od 4 sata ujutro, sasvim sam siguran da nije bilo šta da se gleda! Njeno huckanje i nadimanje nije moglo da prođe neprimećeno! Znam da mu je bilo neprijatno i izvinio se i otišao da odspava.... Znam da je svima bilo neprijatno, da probije led, valjda, skočila je i rekla hajde da igramo skrebl ! Okej bando, verovali ili ne, nikad pre nisam igrao skerbel! Siguran sam da se kikala ispod glasa. Pa, naravno da ću igrati, ali nikada ranije nisam igrao, tako da je utakmica počela, a ona je krenula i krenula! Ona jeste dobila gem, ali ja sam došao kao 2. i samo 35 poena dalje, imala je sve što je mogla da uradi osim da skače gore-dole i nastavi dalje, zaista nisam mogao da verujem koliko je bila "srećna" što je pobedila-- --dobro za nju, mislio sam. Njegov muž je tada ušao odmah nakon što se naša utakmica završila i ona je vikala "Dušo, pobedila sam, pobedila sam..." njegov komentar GO FIGURE. Onda sam se nasmejao.....hvala Bogu što su momci ušli i dečko jedva sam mogao da obučem čizme da odem! Pretpostavljam da je ona bila lažna i lažna, i siguran sam da je to više posla za nju nego za mene! (koristeći svoj mozak i sve!) lol ps Ona je bila ta koja je donela igru....... GO FIGURE!

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski
    Lips, you know me, I guess I am just a B**** I would rather be RUDE than fake.    cheesy cheesy cheesy
    Usne, znaš me, pretpostavljam da sam samo kurvica, radije bih bio GRUD nego lažan. cheesycheesycheesy
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    I am to down to earth and real to be phony!  I won't be rude, but I won't be phony either :-\

    I just can't do it! wink

    Ja sam prizemljen i stvaran da budem lažan! Neću biti bezobrazan, ali neću biti ni lažan :-\

    Jednostavno ne mogu! wink

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Lips, you know me, I guess I am just a B**** I would rather be RUDE than fake.    cheesy cheesy cheesy


    It also about me, Shelli!  wink wink wink wink
    If I don't like a person I try to not to talk, contact with him/her at least! Argument and rudeness is the last thing for me...only if I'm offended somehow...Even if we meet in a party of something, there are other people who I can communicate with...
    I usually don't have such problem because people who I don't like feel that and try to avoid me! wink

    Usne, znaš me, pretpostavljam da sam samo kurvica, radije bih bio GRUD nego lažan. cheesycheesycheesy


    I o meni, Šeli! winkwinkwinkwink
    Ako mi se ne sviđa osoba kojoj se trudim da ne pričam, kontaktiraj bar sa njom/njom! Svađa i bezobrazluk je poslednja stvar za mene...samo ako se nekako uvredim...Čak i da se nađemo u nekoj žurci, ima drugih ljudi sa kojima mogu da komuniciram...
    Obično nemam takav problem jer ljudi koje ne volim to osećaju i pokušavaju da me izbegnu! wink
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    It's funny that you asked this question. Just yesterday was opening day for hunting,for those who know about me (spinalcord stim) I was acually feeling okay and maybe up to it...so i went knowing there was one of the hunters house that we could go and keep warm etc. it was our "meeting place" and other wives were there to cook, not hunt. I was the only female going on the hunt,and 5 other men. We did a couple of drives and decided we would go back to the house and when we did, they decided to go for "ONE MORE" by that time, I was hurting and knew I would not be of any good use and stayed behind. There was this couple there that I have never met before and the "husband" began talking to me while I was finishing my glass of wine, he asked me if I would like another, thank you with a nod of my head and his wife gave him a look, and boy if looks could kill! Here I was dressed in my camo, hair in a ponytail and my camo cap on, it was 3  pm and had been up since 4 am I am quite sure was nothing to look at! Her huffs and puffs could not go un-noticed!I know he was imbarrassed and excused himself and went to take a nap....I know all were uncomforable, to break the ice I guess, she jumped up and said let's play scrabble! Okay gang, believe it or not I have never played scrabble before EVER! I am sure she was snickering under her breath. Well, sure i'll play but I have never played before, so the game begins and she was off and on her way! She did win the game, but I did come in 2nd and only like 35 points away, she had all she could do but jump up and down and carry on, I really couldn't believe how "happy" she was to win----good for her I thought. He husband then came in right after our game was over and she yelled "Honey, I won, I won...." his comment GO FIGURE. I then chuckled.....thank god the guys came in and boy I could hardly get my boots on to leave! I guess she was the one that was fake and phoney, and I am sure it was more work for her then me! (using her brain and all!) lol p.s. She was the one who brought the game.......GO FIGURE!
    Great example lynda i sensed a little bit of jealous mixed in as well!! Thanks for sharing this story.....nice reading!

    Lips

    Smešno je što ste postavili ovo pitanje. Jučer je bio dan otvaranja za lov, za one koji znaju za mene (stim kičmene moždine) Osećao sam se dobro i možda sam bio spreman...pa sam otišao znajući da postoji jedna od lovačkih kuća u koju možemo da idemo da se grejemo itd. To je bilo naše "mesto sastanka" i druge žene su bile tu da kuvaju, a ne da love. Ja sam bila jedina žena koja je išla u lov i još 5 muškaraca. Napravili smo nekoliko vožnji i odlučili da se vratimo kući, a kada smo to uradili, odlučili su da odu na "JONEM MORE" do tada, bio sam povređen i znao sam da neću biti od koristi i ostao sam. Tamo je bio jedan par koji nikad ranije nisam srela i "muž" je počeo da priča sa mnom dok sam pila čašu vina, pitao me je da li bih želeo još jednu, hvala klimnuvši glavom i njegova žena je dala njega pogled, a dečaka da pogled može da ubije! Ovde sam bio obučen u svoju masku, kosu u rep i maskirnu kapu, bilo je 15 časova i bio sam budan od 4 sata ujutro, sasvim sam siguran da nije bilo šta da se gleda! Njeno huckanje i nadimanje nije moglo da prođe neprimećeno! Znam da mu je bilo neprijatno i izvinio se i otišao da odspava.... Znam da je svima bilo neprijatno, da probije led, valjda, skočila je i rekla hajde da igramo skrebl ! Okej bando, verovali ili ne, nikad pre nisam igrao skrebl! Siguran sam da se kikala ispod glasa. Pa, naravno da ću igrati, ali nikada ranije nisam igrao, tako da je utakmica počela i ona je krenula i krenula! Ona jeste dobila gem, ali ja sam došao kao 2. i samo 35 poena dalje, imala je sve što je mogla da uradi osim da skače gore-dole i nastavi dalje, zaista nisam mogao da verujem koliko je bila "srećna" što je pobedila-- --dobro za nju, mislio sam. Njegov muž je tada ušao odmah nakon što se naša utakmica završila i ona je vikala "Dušo, pobedila sam, pobedila sam..." njegov komentar GO FIGURE. Onda sam se zasmejao.....hvala Bogu što su momci ušli i dečko jedva sam mogao da obučem čizme da odem! Pretpostavljam da je ona bila lažna i lažna, i siguran sam da je to više posla za nju nego za mene! (koristeći svoj mozak i sve!) lol ps Ona je bila ta koja je donela igru....... GO FIGURE!
    Odličan primer Linde, osetio sam i malo ljubomore!! Hvala što ste podelili ovu priču..... lepo čitanje!

    Usne
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Lips, Yeah I guess your right, I was hoping to an "S" or an "ING" to add on to her words! laugh_out_loud snicker, snicker,snicker.....

    Usne, da, pretpostavljam da si u pravu, nadao sam se "S" ili "ING" da dodam njene reči! laugh_out_loud šmeker, šmeker, šmeker.....

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Lips, you know me, I guess I am just a B**** I would rather be RUDE than fake.     cheesy cheesy cheesy

    Hey Shell,
    I am right there with you.  I definately have a caustic tongue...and I am always true to myself.   I do not think every situation calls for it as Lips asks.  There are many times in my line of work I need to bite my tongue, but I will NOT go out of my way and be phony or nice...that is NOT me.  I will just NOT tell them to go screw themselves, when I really, really want to  ;D grin grin

    Usne, znaš me, pretpostavljam da sam samo kurvica, radije bih bio GRUD nego lažan. cheesycheesycheesy

    Hej Shell,
    Tu sam sa tobom. Definitivno imam zajedljiv jezik...i uvek sam veran sebi. Ne mislim da svaka situacija to zahteva kao što Lips traži. Mnogo puta u mom poslu moram da se ugrizem za jezik, ali NEĆU se udaljiti i biti lažan ili fin...to nisam ja. Samo im NEĆU reći da idu da se jebe, kad baš, baš želim ;D gringrin
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    I would never be "phony" towards someone.  Its just not in my nature.  I'm a bit of a WYSIWYG - what you see is what you get.  If someone doesn't like it, thats fine by me.  I try to be open and honest in my life and I have taught my son to be open and honest.

    However, if I did not like someone, I wouldn't "be phony" towards them - I just wouldn't talk to them.  I do consider that peoples feelings are important not just to them but also to me and I would never want to knowingly hurt someone, even if I didn't like them. 

    An example was that I met this girl when I was working during the school holidays...many many years ago.  For some reason, I took a dislike to her and I couldn't put my finger on it.  Anyway, we were slung together to do a job and we started talking about the job that we had to do and you could have knocked me down with a feather - she was a really nice person. 

    From that day to this, I try not to judge, I try to be honest and I try to be open but I would never tell someone I didn't like them.  That would be wrong and hurtful.

    In fact there is only one person on this planet that I really don't like and she lives below me and she has made my life a bit of a misery and I go out of my way not to talk to her i.e. cross the road, jump in my car etc.  If I walked past her, I wouldn't talk or say hello. 

    So I don't think that being phony comes into it, Im just not interested in talking to her.

    I feel like I may not have got my feelings across.

    blue

    Nikada ne bih bio "lažan" prema nekome. To jednostavno nije u mojoj prirodi. Ja sam pomalo VISIVIG - ono što vidite to i dobijete. Ako se nekome ne sviđa, meni je to u redu. Trudim se da budem otvoren i iskren u svom životu i naučio sam svog sina da bude otvoren i pošten.

    Međutim, da mi se neko ne sviđa, ne bih bio "lažan" prema njima - jednostavno ne bih razgovarao sa njim. Smatram da su osećanja ljudi važna ne samo njima već i meni i nikada ne bih želeo da nekoga svesno povredim, čak i da mi se ne sviđaju.

    Primer je da sam upoznao ovu devojku dok sam radio tokom školskog raspusta...pre mnogo godina. Iz nekog razloga mi se nije sviđala i nisam mogao da stavim prst na to. U svakom slučaju, bili smo vezani zajedno da radimo posao i počeli smo da pričamo o poslu koji smo morali da uradimo i mogao si da me oboriš perom - bila je zaista fina osoba.

    Od tog dana do danas pokušavam da ne osuđujem, trudim se da budem iskrena i pokušavam da budem otvorena, ali nikada ne bih rekla nekome da mi se ne sviđa. To bi bilo pogrešno i štetno.

    U stvari postoji samo jedna osoba na ovoj planeti koju stvarno ne volim i ona živi ispod mene i malo mi je zagorčala život i trudim se da ne pričam sa njom, tj. da pređem put, uskočiti u auto itd. Da sam prošao pored nje, ne bih pričao ni pozdravio.

    Tako da mislim da to što sam lažan ne dolazi u obzir, jednostavno nisam zainteresovan da razgovaram sa njom.

    Osećam se kao da možda nisam preneo svoja osećanja.

    Plavi

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski
    Hi Blue,

    I think you did a fine job of getting your feelings across. I can also relate to what you are saying. It is very difficult to be nice to someone when there is bad chemistry.

    I think you make a very good point in saying that once you knew her....you were amazed at how much you really did like her. I think this happens alot.

    I heard somewhere a quote....."the things we don't like in other people is the very things we don't like in ourselves". I think there is some truth to that.

    We all have a part of ourselves we wish we could change. I just wonder if the person we are not liking is a reminder in some way of us.

    I think about that every time i run across a person i don't like. It is never easy for me to even think i am remotely like that person!!

    Lips
    zdravo plavo,

    Mislim da si uradio dobar posao u prenošenju svojih osećanja. Takođe se mogu povezati sa onim što govorite. Veoma je teško biti fin prema nekome kada je loša hemija.

    Mislim da ste veoma dobro rekli da ste, kada ste je upoznali, bili zapanjeni koliko vam se zaista dopala. Mislim da se ovo često dešava.

    Negde sam čuo citat..."stvari koje ne volimo kod drugih ljudi su upravo stvari koje ne volimo kod sebe". Mislim da u tome ima istine.

    Svi imamo deo sebe koji bismo voleli da možemo da promenimo. Pitam se samo da li je osoba koja nam se ne sviđa na neki način podsetnik na nas.

    Razmišljam o tome svaki put kada naletim na osobu koja mi se ne sviđa. Nikada mi nije lako čak ni pomisliti da sam izbliza kao ta osoba!!

    Usne
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Thanks Lips.

    There are very few people I "instantly dislike" after that "eye opening" experience.  I think I was 15/16.

    They have to be vile in every way (like the woman who lives under me).  She has no redeeming features about her whatsoever.  She is mean, nasty, rude and vile.  Thank God I am nothing like her.  But this girl - yes I guess we were quite alike in some ways.  

    There was a woman at work - every time I said hello to her, she would sniff and stick her nose in the air.  She did this to me time after time for many months.  In the end I thought, oh get on with it then.  Anyway, I never spoke to this woman for a couple of years and then the worst happened.  They put me in the same office as her.  It was just her and me.

    The first morning, I walked in and said "morning" - she stuck her nose in the air and sniffed loudly.

    The second morning, I walked in and said "morning" again.  She did exactly the same thing.

    The third morning, I decided I wasn't going to say anything....and she said "good morning" to me.  Sods law.

    Anyway, we "got along" as best we could - she had quite a kind heart.  But she still did the nose in the air and the sniffing thing to me.  Time moved on and we moved into different sections as there was a huge shuffle up at work.

    I was never nasty to this woman..ever.  But I was never "phony" to her either.  I just didnt talk to her.

    We ended up working together again and I was her boss when my boss was away.  She was quite an "up front" person in a lot of ways.  Well we got talking one day and I asked her outright if she remembered how she used to be.

    Her reaction was one of total horror.  She couldn't believe that she was like that and my friend backed me up and told her exactly how she had been towards me for so long all those years ago.  

    She retired before I was made redundant and I must say, I did miss her.  So I guess the point of all this is, there is no point in being phony as it will never serve you well.  

    blue

    Thanks Lips.

    Malo je ljudi kojima se „odmah ne sviđam“ nakon tog iskustva „otvaranja očiju“. Mislim da sam imao 15/16.

    Moraju biti podli u svakom pogledu (kao žena koja živi ispod mene). Ona nema nikakve iskupljujuće karakteristike o sebi. Ona je zla, gadna, gruba i podla. Hvala Bogu da nisam ništa poput nje. Ali ova devojka - da, pretpostavljam da smo na neki način bili prilično slični.

    Na poslu je bila žena – svaki put kada bih je pozdravio, ona bi šmrcala i gurnula nos u vazduh. Radila mi je to s vremena na vreme mnogo meseci. Na kraju sam pomislio, oh, nastavi s tim onda. U svakom slučaju, par godina nisam razgovarao sa ovom ženom, a onda se dogodilo ono najgore. Smestili su me u istu kancelariju kao i ona. Bili smo samo ona i ja.

    Prvog jutra sam ušao i rekao „jutro“ – zavila je nos u vazduh i glasno šmrcnula.

    Drugo jutro sam ušao i ponovo rekao "jutro". Ona je uradila potpuno istu stvar.

    Trećeg jutra sam odlučio da neću ništa reći... i ona mi je rekla "dobro jutro". Sods lav.

    U svakom slučaju, „slagali smo” kako smo mogli – imala je prilično dobro srce. Ali ona mi je i dalje digla nos i njuškala. Vreme je odmicalo, a mi smo se preselili u različite delove jer je došlo do velike gužve na poslu.

    Nikada nisam bio gadan prema ovoj ženi..nikad. Ali ni prema njoj nikada nisam bio "lažan". Samo nisam razgovarao sa njom.

    Ponovo smo radili zajedno i ja sam bio njen šef kada je moj šef bio odsutan. Bila je prilično "ispred" osoba na mnogo načina. Pa, jednog dana smo razgovarali i ja sam je direktno pitao da li se seća kako je nekada bila.

    Njena reakcija je bila totalni užas. Nije mogla da veruje da je takva i moja prijateljica me je podržala i rekla joj tačno kako je bila prema meni toliko dugo pre svih tih godina.

    Penzionisala se pre nego što sam postao tehnološki višak i moram reći da mi je nedostajala. Dakle, pretpostavljam da je poenta svega ovoga da nema smisla biti lažan jer vam to nikada neće dobro poslužiti.

    Plavi

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Well, I guess I've been lucky. If there was someone I didn't like or care for, I usually worked far away friom them as many of my jobs had me going from one place to another.

    Occasionaly if we crossed paths, I said no0thing to them and likewise.

    Pa, valjda sam imao sreće. Ako je postojao neko ko mi se nije sviđao ili mi je bilo stalo, obično sam radio daleko od njih, jer su me mnogi moji poslovi nalagali da odlazim s jednog mesta na drugo.

    Povremeno, ako bismo se ukrstili, ništa im nisam rekao i slično.

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