Once A Cheater Alvais??

What do you guys think about this, once a cheater always a cheater?  Can a former serial cheater reform their ways and be true?  Someone says they would never cheat because they are with the one that they truly love, but is that enough to keep someone true?  Is it simply in their nature regardless?  Or are they only behavinr 'for now' and you never know what may happen?

Yes, I believe people are able to reform.

One CAN change learned behavior, but one can NOT change the person they were born to be!

hmmm..thats a witty philosophical play with words..and indeed true.

So then, in the context of this post,  the question to you is:  Is cheating a learned behavior?

I think it is.

Slot- that's what I think too.  This person loves characters in movies where the lead is promiscuous, sexually adventurous, completely relates to womanizers etc.  Like Skin Deep, thinks it is hilarious etc.  (so do I by the way, but I think it is a bit more with this person) Is a big romantic too, especially about 'the one'.  It just makes me curious if reform has happened, or if the next time they get bored they will act out- like if 'the one' isn't living up to the expectations set for them.  Hmm... 

toodleedoo, Is your question about a specific person?  Or were asking in general, if serial cheaters are able to change their ways?

I believe it is a self taught addiction, and like any bad learned behavioral habits(drugs, gambling, over-eating...) it can be unlearned!! One first has to see it is a problem and then want to make a change. I also believe the only time the change is effective and long lasting is when they have came to a revelation on their own, not from an ultimatum or threat of a loved one!

Which makes me think of this(a little off subject but...) I have a friend that was on drugs and ever time he had a relapse, he would say it is a disease(I can't help it) and I would say no cancer is a disease, asthma is a disease...drugs is a CHOICE that you have trained your body and mind to need in order to function normally or think you are functioning normally(Not)!  I believe the same applies to sex addiction or any other addiction!

So through all my babbling, the answer to your question is, yes :-)

lmao 
btw, I agree with all that babble in yer babbling 

They may change if they learn what makes them unhappy or  lack respect for their partner. Maybe it's just a lack of excitement that makes someone cheat. As a serial cheater myself, I would say we can change!  j/k

which part are you 'j/k' about?  that you are a serial cheater?  or that you can change?  hahaha lol

Ok, well I think people can change, of course they can.

Slot Junkie..Addiction is a disease, it is not a choice. JMO

I think people can do whatever it is they want to do. They just have to want it bad enough. I have cheated, in my past...but that doesn't mean I would do it again.

Mistakes are mistakes, and if they are willing to make that change..of course it is possible, just like most things in life.


:-*

I think we might be getting stuck here on semantics.  'Diseases' may be congenital, organic in nature, and/ or learned.  i.e. some people see gambling as a disease.

I was merely stating my opinion

She knows I her...


:-*

Lack of excitement= tell, show,teach your partner what you like. If they are uncomfortable and not willing then guaranteed there will be cheating! And since sex is a big part of a relationship, if the person is unwilling to help keep it exciting, then perhaps you are in the wrong one!

It is up to the unexcited person to get creative and make some excitement, but having a partner that is willing to play along is vital to a "blazing" bedroom
Alot of times it is how comfortable one is with them self and in the relationship that makes the difference!
But sometimes no matter what you do, the other one still cheats because they are unhappy within themselves and are looking to feel good. But cheating only leads to a temporary quick fix feel good which is why you do it so often. To try and keep feeling good!

I have been with my husband for over 20 years and we have to keep a fire extinguisher next to our bed or any other area we play in

*note* when I say you it just means him/her/he/she

you buncha cheatin wenches

I too love my LCB fam!

But I don't think it is fair to call something that you choose to indulge in a disease when there are people that have a disease they CAN'T opt in/out of!

It is a choice that affects your brain and body, thus causing  different levels of mental illness! Which some may see as a disease!

Well, been there done that, and really didn't feel like it was a choice..it is a disease to me, and it will always be. Unless you suffered from addiction you don't know the feeling I am talking about, I guess I can see why some people would feel that way though.


:-*

zactly...nicely stated

You guys are all one big disease in my head!

Can a cheater change their wicked ways......thats a loaded question!

I think there is alot of variables to consider. If you commit to someone and realize you made a wrong choice by marrying this person maybe it would cause a partner to stray.
If you are truly happy then there is no excuse whats so ever to cheat!

In either case i personally don't think anyone should cheat on their partner. But if it is a "serial cheater" then they will cheat for life no matter who they are with.

I never could understand how a serial cheater could go home and look their spouse in the eye after just sleeping with someone else, especially if they are in love with their partner.

Lips

Psychology would answer this question with "probably."  A few cheaters can be reformed, MOST, however, will not.

he he heeeeee welcolme 2 my world jk

I am thinking of specific people in mind yes- myself not included.  But more than one, it's something I have noticed about more than a few people I know or are in my life.  I have to wonder if they are just behaving 'for now' because I know of their pasts.  Or maybe I am too judgemental and unwilling to believe that their behavior will last. 

Everyone made good points.  If someone is unhappy in a current relationship, they can use cheating as an excuse for a way out. 

Slots- you make a good point about both partners being willing.  I don't think it is fair for a partner who is bored to simply blame the other partner without at least trying something new, or talking to them. 

Thanks for your opinions guys!

I know Mommy and I am not judging you I don't do that! And I respect you for talking about it and getting clean! I know it is a forever battle! Big ups to you!
I do understand about addiction(not drugs) but I am addicted to gambling not severely, but none the less I am a gambling addict and I don't like it! Especially when I "abandon" my kids, husband, chores, friends... to spin especially when it is not even entertaining. Deposit after deposit(hit after hit) chasing...you know where I am going with it!