Hi Members,
Everyone is jealous at one time or another. For someone to say they are NEVER jealous is a lie. The question is just how jealous are you?
I do have my moments that's for sure. But in most situations i have to be provoked. I think it depends on the personality of the person you are with as well.
Jealousy can stem from one's own insecurities as well as mistrust of your partner. One thing i never really understood....and i have seen it over and over....is getting mad NOT at the partner but the person they are cheating with! It just doesn't make sense to me. He/she gets off scot free while the the lover is being scorned and sent running down the street!
As far as i am concerned.....the only one i would be mad at would be my man. She owes me nothing.....she didn't betray me....HE did. Which also poses the question....once betrayed...can we ever really trust our lover again?
Lips
Zelenooko čudovište je u svima nama?
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Jimbeaux
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Anketa - Telefon zvoni i glas koji ne poznajete traži vašeg ljubavnika. On/ona zna da je to osoba po imenu i kikoće se telefonom. Koliko ste ljubomorni?
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- Započeto
- Lipstick
- u Sep 07, 09, 10:46:33 AM
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Admin
13900
Original
Prevod 
Prevedeno sa 
Zdravo članovi,
Svi su u jednom ili drugom trenutku ljubomorni. Laž je da neko kaže da NIKAD nije ljubomoran. Pitanje je samo koliko ste ljubomorni?
Imam svoje trenutke to je sigurno. Ali u većini situacija moram da budem isprovociran. Mislim da to zavisi i od ličnosti osobe sa kojom ste.
Ljubomora može proizaći iz sopstvene nesigurnosti, kao i nepoverenja prema vašem partneru. Jednu stvar koju nikad nisam razumeo....i viđao sam je iznova i iznova....je da se ljutim NE na partnera već na osobu sa kojom varaju! Meni to jednostavno nema smisla. On/ona se oslobađa dok ljubavnika preziru i šalju da trči niz ulicu!
Što se mene tiče.....jedini na koga bih bio ljut bio bi moj čovek. Ona mi ništa ne duguje.....nije me izdala... ON jeste. Što takođe postavlja pitanje... jednom izdani... možemo li ikada ponovo verovati svom ljubavniku?
Usne
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- Odgovoreno
- genenco
- u Sep 07, 09, 12:26:38 PM
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Mighty Member
3032
I'm sorry, but I had to vote "Not at all" as I'm not engaged..I do wonder though how I would feel..But that's moot
Here and I thought the "Green Eyed Monster" was Greed, or Envy...I guess jealousy figures in there too...:)
Oh and Lips I agree about the "Blaming" your lover and not the other one after all, they had to say "Yes" "Sure" or "Why Not?" and they committed the act of betrayal.
As for trusting again..??? wow, I have seen some forgive quickly, some made a "Scale" of repentance and some say "There's the door!".Žao mi je, ali morao sam da glasam za „Uopšte ne“ jer nisam veren..Pitam se kako bih se osećao..Ali to je sporno
Evo i pomislio sam da je "Zelenooko čudovište" pohlepa, ili zavist... pretpostavljam da je tu i ljubomora... :)
Oh i Usne, slažem se sa "okrivljavanjem" svog ljubavnika, a ne onog drugog, morali su da kažu "Da", "Naravno" ili "Zašto ne?" a oni su izvršili čin izdaje.
Što se opet poverenja tiče..??? vau, video sam da neki brzo opraštaju, neki su napravili "skalu" pokajanja, a neki kažu "Eno vrata!". -
- Odgovoreno
- Jimbeaux
- u Sep 07, 09, 12:43:05 PM
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Hero Member
879
There is always a problem when using definitives such as "Always" or "Everyone" when describing human actions... there is "Always" an exception. I am one such.
I don't get jealous... dont feel it and though I can recognize it, and maybe sympathise with it in someone else, to me it is unfathomable.
I love her... unconditionally. if someone calls I dont know, no biggie. If it is obvious that there is something going on, it is also probable that she would have told me of her interest in advance. If it was her choice... I will probably ask if she had fun... if it was not her choice, I will hunt the bastard down and have a new rearview mirror dangly... But in either case I don't see it as a "Betrayal'... I Know who she Loves... Who she will grow old and die with... I have spent most of My adult life ensuring her happiness...
There is a vast gulf between Love and Lust... Vast enough to be completely separate animals. I doubt there are very many who have not, at one time or another felt Lust, whether it was acted on or not. Lust is easy, like breathing...
Love takes work...Uvek postoji problem kada se koriste definitivi kao što su "Uvek" ili "Svi" kada se opisuju ljudski postupci... postoji izuzetak "Uvek". Ja sam jedan takav.
Ne postajem ljubomoran... ne osećam to i iako to mogu prepoznati, a možda i saosećati s tim u nekom drugom, meni je to nedokučivo.
Volim je... bezuslovno. ako neko pozove ne znam, nema veze. Ako je očigledno da se nešto dešava, verovatno je i da bi mi unapred rekla o svom interesovanju. Da je to bio njen izbor... verovatno ću pitati da li se zabavljala... ako to nije bio njen izbor, ja ću loviti gad i imati novi retrovizor na visi... Ali u oba slučaja neću vidi to kao "Izdaju"... Znam koga voli... Sa kim će ostariti i umrijeti... Proveo sam većinu svog odraslog života osiguravajući joj sreću...
Ogroman je jaz između Ljubavi i Požude... Dovoljno ogroman da budu potpuno odvojene životinje. Sumnjam da ima mnogo onih koji u jednom ili drugom trenutku nisu osetili Požudu, bez obzira da li se na nju delovalo ili ne. Požuda je laka, kao disanje...
Ljubav zahteva posao... -
- Odgovoreno
- Lipstick
- u Sep 08, 09, 10:18:49 AM
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Admin
13900
Tony,
I second that emotion!!! How on God's green earth could ANY one say " did you have fun"?? Unless your views on outside pleasures are VERY open and it is viewed as a natural instinct like back in the cave man days. Otherwise i just can't see that emotional response not present.
What sets love apart from any other emotion with your partner is being committed and having loyalty and intimacy and romance that no other person should be allowed to share.
When that boundary is crossed.....i can't imagine not having a flood of emotion...hurt emotions.
God i love debates.......and Jimbo will be back with both barrels......Annie get your gun....wink!
LipsToni,
Podržavam tu emociju!!! Kako bi, na božjoj zemlji, BILO KO mogao da kaže "da li si se zabavio"?? Osim ako su vaši pogledi na spoljašnja zadovoljstva VEOMA otvoreni i na to se gleda kao na prirodni instinkt kao u danima pećinskog čoveka. Inače jednostavno ne mogu da vidim da taj emocionalni odgovor nije prisutan.
Ono što ljubav razlikuje od bilo koje druge emocije sa vašim partnerom je posvećenost i odanost, intimnost i romansa koju nijedna druga osoba ne bi smela da deli.
Kada se ta granica pređe...ne mogu zamisliti da nemam poplavu emocija...povrijeđenih emocija.
Bože, volim debate.......i Džimbo će se vratiti sa obe cevi......Eni uzmi pištolj...namigni!
Usne -
- Odgovoreno
- Jimbeaux
- u Sep 08, 09, 10:41:27 AM
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Hero Member
879
I am just a bit confused here Jim,
I think jealousy is a natural emotion when your in love. How can you not feel that at times?
If my woman made the choice to step out on me i for sure would not ask if she had fun, how is that love, her bags would be packed and sitting on the curb when she got home. That is the ultimate in "betrayal" when your partner makes it there choice to cheat or even consider cheating on you.
Tony
Tony,
I agree that betrayal of your own more's is abhorrant, and a conscious decision to Cheat on the values and trust's established would warrant a harsh response... My point is that I do not consider a healthy libido cheating. I do not feel betrayed that someone I love has chosen to exercise what is truly a healthy (and intensely pleasurable) interest.
Unshackled by long term commitments, emotional baggage and free to enjoy and savor the moment, having it known upfront that it does not stir the green eyed monster, that it is not viewed by me as a betrayal nor "cheating" allows me to be solely concerned that she is safe, enjoyed herself and is happy. My own interests are viewed in a similar fashion.
That said, don't get the impression that we are out and out hedonists, nor some caricature of some 80's swinging couple with gold chains dangling. In 25 years of marriage this has come up a total of twice with her... a few more times with me. For her, it was a high school crush that she had never had the nerve to follow through on, and when chance brought us together, and I had met him and got to know him well enough to see what sort of man he was... when she asked... I allowed it. A second time was a typical girls night out, alcohol and laughing good times followed by a natural progression... again... I was more than happy that she felt secure enough in our relationship to feel no guilt, to look back on it as a one time fond memory and move on. Destroying a life you have built together for a moments pleasure... and angst over it completely evades my mental process.
Yes I know that this is not how the norm views it, but that is why my original post warned about the words "everyone" and "Always"...
Ja sam samo malo zbunjen ovde Džime,
Mislim da je ljubomora prirodna emocija kada ste zaljubljeni. Kako to ponekad ne osećate?
Da je moja žena odlučila da me istupi, sigurno ne bih pitao da li se zabavljala, kako je to ljubav, njene torbe bi bile spakovane i sedela na ivičnjaku kada dođe kući. To je ultimativna "izdaja" kada vaš partner odluči da vas prevari ili čak razmisli o prevari.
Toni
Toni,
Slažem se da je izdaja sopstvenih više odvratna, a svesna odluka da prevarite vrednosti i poverenje koje ste uspostavili bi zahtevala oštar odgovor... Moja poenta je da ja ne smatram zdrav libido varanjem. Ne osećam se izdanim što je neko koga volim izabrao da se bavi onim što je zaista zdravo (i veoma prijatno) interesovanje.
Neokovan dugoročnim obavezama, emotivnim prtljagom i slobodan da uživam i uživam u trenutku, znajući unapred da to ne uznemirava zelenooko čudovište, da to ne smatram izdajom niti mi „varanje“ dozvoljava da budem isključivo zabrinuta da je bezbedna, uživa i srećna je. Moji interesi se posmatraju na sličan način.
Ipak, nemojte imati utisak da smo hedonisti, niti neka karikatura nekog para iz 80-ih sa zlatnim lancima koji vise. Za 25 godina braka ovo se dogodilo ukupno dva puta sa njom... još nekoliko puta sa mnom. Za nju je to bila srednjoškolska zaljubljenost koju nikada nije imala hrabrosti da nastavi, a kada nas je slučaj spojio, ja sam ga upoznao i upoznao ga dovoljno dobro da vidim kakav je on čovek. Kada je pitala... dozvolio sam. Drugi put je bio tipičan devojački izlazak, alkohol i dobar smeh praćen prirodnim napredovanjem... opet... Bio sam više nego srećan što se osećala dovoljno sigurno u našoj vezi da ne oseća krivicu, da se osvrnem na to kao jedno vreme lepo sećanje i kreni dalje. Uništavanje života koji ste zajedno izgradili za trenutke zadovoljstva... i ljutnja zbog toga potpuno izmiče moj mentalni proces.
Da, znam da norma ne gleda na to tako, ali zato je moj originalni post upozoravao na reči „svi“ i „uvek“... -
- Odgovoreno
- Jimbeaux
- u Sep 08, 09, 10:55:23 AM
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Hero Member
879
Tony,
I second that emotion!!! How on God's green earth could ANY one say " did you have fun"?? Unless your views on outside pleasures are VERY open and it is viewed as a natural instinct like back in the cave man days. Otherwise i just can't see that emotional response not present.
What sets love apart from any other emotion with your partner is being committed and having loyalty and intimacy and romance that no other person should be allowed to share.
When that boundary is crossed.....i can't imagine not having a flood of emotion...hurt emotions.
God i love debates.......and Jimbo will be back with both barrels......Annie get your gun....wink!
Lips
I cant agree with you more on what set's love apart, Lips... I just don't see how satisfying a Lust compromises her or my Loyalty, effects our own healthy intimacy or negates the romance of our lives together... unless I allowed myself to believe that something I possessed had been wrongly taken from me...
To me, that would be a true barbaric and caveman mentality.
Toni,
Podržavam tu emociju!!! Kako bi, na božjoj zemlji, BILO KO mogao da kaže "da li si se zabavio"?? Osim ako su vaši pogledi na spoljašnja zadovoljstva VEOMA otvoreni i na to se gleda kao na prirodni instinkt kao u danima pećinskog čoveka. Inače jednostavno ne mogu da vidim da taj emocionalni odgovor nije prisutan.
Ono što ljubav razlikuje od bilo koje druge emocije sa vašim partnerom je predanost i odanost, intimnost i romansa koju nijedna druga osoba ne bi smela da deli.
Kada se ta granica pređe...ne mogu zamisliti da nemam poplavu emocija...povrijeđenih emocija.
Bože, volim debate.......i Džimbo će se vratiti sa obe cevi......Eni uzmi pištolj...namigni!
Usne
Ne mogu da se složim sa tobom više o tome šta razdvaja ljubav, Usne... Samo ne vidim kako zadovoljavanje požude ugrožava njenu ili moju odanost, utiče na našu zdravu intimnost ili negira romantiku naših zajedničkih života... osim ako ja dozvolio sam sebi da verujem da mi je nešto što sam posedovao pogrešno oduzeto...
Za mene bi to bio pravi varvarski i pećinski mentalitet. -
- Odgovoreno
- Jimbeaux
- u Sep 08, 09, 11:19:51 AM
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Hero Member
879
Then why take the "vow" of marriage if you are gonna satisfy your sexual needs with another other then your partner? Even if it was just one time.
To me marriage is a sacred institution and everything intimate should only be shared with the 2 of you..sexual desire is natural in all of us but to act on it with someone other then your partner is without a doubt the ultimate in betrayal, no matter how open a mind you might have.
Tony,
My marriage, to me, is much more than simply mere sexual gratification. Rather it is a commitment to share a life together, A life filled with the tens of thousands of things between each half hour spent "gratifying" our sexual needs. It is a commitment to strive to be happy, to share hardships and joys, to tackle tough situation's, financial and physical... to having and raising a family, and instilling in that family a healthy set of mores that will carry them in good stead throughout life...
A marriage to me is much more than simply an opportunity to have my own private concubine... (although she serves that position quite well).
That said, If that marriage were to be based on a strict monogamy, and that in gratifying a desire you were left feeling guilty, angry and felt you had to hide it away from someone you Trusted... Then this would truly be something abhorrant.... as a destruction of the trust and lack of faith in our relationship... and yes, would probably warant reassessing what and who we felt we were.
Zašto onda davati "zavet" braka ako ćeš svoje seksualne potrebe zadovoljiti sa drugom drugom a ne sa svojim partnerom? Čak i ako je to bilo samo jednom.
Za mene je brak sveta institucija i sve intimno treba deliti samo sa vas dvoje.. seksualna želja je prirodna u svima nama, ali postupati po njoj sa nekim drugim onda sa svojim partnerom je bez sumnje krajnji u izdaji, ne bez obzira koliko otvoren um imate.
Toni,
Moj brak je za mene mnogo više od pukog seksualnog zadovoljstva. Umesto toga, to je obaveza da delimo zajednički život, život ispunjen desetinama hiljada stvari između svakih pola sata provedenih u „zadovoljavanju“ naših seksualnih potreba. To je posvećenost nastojanju da budete srećni, da delite nedaće i radosti, da se nosite sa teškim situacijama, finansijskim i fizičkim... da imate i podižete porodicu, i usadite u tu porodicu zdrav set običaja koji će ih nositi u dobru. uporno tokom života...
Brak je za mene mnogo više od obične prilike da imam sopstvenu privatnu konkubinu... (iako ona dobro služi na toj poziciji).
Uz to, ako bi taj brak bio zasnovan na strogoj monogamiji, i da ste u zadovoljavanju želje ostali da se osećate krivim, ljutim i osećate da to morate da sakrijete od nekoga kome verujete... Onda bi ovo zaista bilo nešto odvratno .... kao uništavanje poverenja i nedostatak vere u našu vezu... i da, verovatno bi zahtevalo preispitivanje onoga što i ko smo osećali da smo. -
- Odgovoreno
- Lipstick
- u Sep 08, 09, 11:37:54 AM
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Admin
13900
Jimbo,
How's Friday say at 8............wink!
LipsDžimbo,
Kako je petak u 8............namigni!
Usne -
- Odgovoreno
- Jimbeaux
- u Sep 08, 09, 11:41:06 AM
-
Hero Member
879
Grin
I'll bring Patron... and My Kilt...
Get that Pie baking...Grin
Doneću Patrona... i Moj Kilt...
Ispeći tu pitu...
Brzi odgovor
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