Da li biste voleli njega/nju dovoljno da odete?

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Lipstick
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  • Original engleski Prevod srpski
    Hi Guys and Dolls,

    I just had an interesting conversation the other day and i said i am going to pose this question to my LCB family!

    Ok so here is the situation.......

    Let's say you are engaged to the love of your life. And the most tragic thing happens, a horrible accident leaves you paralyzed in a wheel chair. Your fiance stays diligently at your side every step of the way and wants to go through with the wedding.

    He/she has showed the deepest kind of love anyone could offer. Would you marry him or would you set him free?

    Is real love through thick and thin or is loving this person so much that you set them free the purest form of love?

    What would you do?

    Lips
    Zdravo momci i lutke,

    Upravo sam pre neki dan imao zanimljiv razgovor i rekao sam da ću postaviti ovo pitanje svojoj LCB porodici!

    Ok, evo situacija......

    Recimo da ste vereni za ljubav svog života. I najtragičnija stvar se dešava, užasna nesreća te ostavlja paralizovanim u invalidskim kolicima. Vaš verenik ostaje marljivo uz vas na svakom koraku i želi da završi sa venčanjem.

    On/ona je pokazao najdublju vrstu ljubavi koju neko može ponuditi. Da li biste se udali za njega ili biste ga oslobodili?

    Da li je prava ljubav sve do kraja ili je ljubav prema ovoj osobi toliko da ste je oslobodili najčistiji oblik ljubavi?

    Šta bi ti uradio?

    Usne
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    A very difficult question to answer Lips as it is hard to put yourself in that position (if you are not in that kind of position already).  That said, I would probably give them the chance to walk away and enjoy their life but if they chose to be by my side, then so be it.  It would be their choice.

    blue

    Lips je veoma teško odgovoriti na pitanje jer se teško postaviti u tu poziciju (ako već niste u takvoj poziciji). Uz to, verovatno bih im dao priliku da odu i uživaju u svom životu, ali ako odluče da budu uz mene, neka bude tako. To bi bio njihov izbor.

    Plavi

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    I think I'd actually have them live with me for 3-6 months to really see how it would be. Then tell them, "I won't be upset if you feel you couldn't take it and left"

    I know some would say "I need to stay" out of a sense of duty, but that's when love is badly misplaced and in later years they see they made a mistake.

    Mislim da bih zaista želeo da žive sa mnom 3-6 meseci da zaista vidim kako će biti. Zatim im recite: "Neću se uznemiriti ako osećate da niste mogli da to prihvatite i otišli ste"

    Znam da bi neki rekli "moram da ostanem" iz osećaja dužnosti, ali tada je ljubav na lošem mestu i u kasnijim godinama vide da su pogrešili.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    I cant find anyone to marry me and I am in 1 piece.  I take that back.  When I got divorced I said I would never get married again.  I lost my soul in 2003 because she said we get married or she was leaving.  I am still single.  In my case I wouldnt tell her to walk away I would tell her to run for her life.

    Ne mogu da nađem nikoga da se uda za mene i ja sam u jednom komadu. Povlačim reč. Kada sam se razveo, rekao sam da se nikada više neću udati. Izgubio sam dušu 2003. jer je rekla da se venčamo ili odlazi. Ja sam i dalje Samac. U mom slučaju ne bih joj rekao da ode, rekao bih joj da beži za život.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Hmmm...if the situation were reversed and it was my man that got crippled I would not leave him because I love him sooo much. It would be a hard adjustment to get used to but an accident wouldn't change my love nor would I feel guilted into staying...that being said if it were me and he loved me enough to want to stay then I would hold on to him forever! I don't think everyone sees a handicap as a burden, just look at how many people have disabled children. If you were to ask those parents I'm sure they would all say the same thing...it's difficult but they wouldn't trade them for anything...why...because of LOVE.

    Hmmm...da je situacija obrnuta i da je moj čovek bio bogalj ne bih ga ostavila jer ga jako volim. Bilo bi teško naviknuti se na to, ali nesreća ne bi promenila moju ljubav niti bih se osećao krivim što sam ostao... kako se kaže, da sam u pitanju ja i da me je voleo dovoljno da želim da ostanem, onda bih izdržao njemu zauvek! Mislim da ne vide svi hendikep kao teret, pogledajte samo koliko ljudi ima dece sa invaliditetom. Da pitate te roditelje siguran sam da bi svi rekli isto...teško je ali ne bi ih menjali ni za šta...zašto...zbog LJUBAVI.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Great answers guys and i did think about having a handicapped child. There is not a mother out there that would trade them for the world.

    But what actually prompted this question was because i felt completely different then my friend did. Her cousin went through something similar. Although she wasn't paralyzed she developed an illness that would would eventually leave her bedridden.

    They were engaged and once she found out about this progressive disease she left him. He begged and pleaded not to let him go but she refused to burden his life.

    I for one agreed with her and said i would do the same because i would be denying him children and intimacy would be greatly affected. Leaving him would be the greatest sacrifice of love.

    However my friend strongly disagreed. She said she wouldn't give him up because more then likely she would spend the rest of her life alone.

    If you did stay would allow to stray to fulfill his needs? Or would that be strictly off limits?

    Lips 

    Sjajni odgovori momci i razmišljao sam o detetu sa hendikepom. Ne postoji majka koja bi ih menjala za ceo svet.

    Ali ono što je zapravo izazvalo ovo pitanje je zato što sam se osećao potpuno drugačije nego moj prijatelj. Njen rođak je prošao kroz nešto slično. Iako nije bila paralizovana, razvila je bolest zbog koje je na kraju ostala vezana za krevet.

    Bili su vereni i kada je saznala za ovu progresivnu bolest napustila ga je. Molio je i molio da ga ne pusti, ali ona je odbila da mu optereti život.

    Ja sam se, na primer, složio sa njom i rekao da ću učiniti isto jer bih mu uskratio decu i intimnost bi bila jako pogođena. Odlazak od njega bila bi najveća žrtva ljubavi.

    Međutim, moj prijatelj se nikako nije složio. Rekla je da ga se neće odreći jer je najverovatnije da će ostatak života provesti sama.

    Da ste ostali da li biste dozvolili da zalutate da ispunite njegove potrebe? Ili bi to bilo striktno zabranjeno?

    Usne

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    I would set him free. If he refused to leave out of his love, for me, I would love for him stay. If he stayed out of a feeling of obligation or duty, I would disappear. The guilt of "ripping him off" of a normal life would destroy you both. I did, let go the love of my life, five years ago.  Heart felt, MissKaron

    Ja bih ga oslobodio. Ako je odbio da ode iz svoje ljubavi, za mene, volela bih da ostane. Da je ostao van osećanja obaveze ili dužnosti, ja bih nestao. Krivica što ste ga "otrgli" normalnog života uništila bi vas oboje. Jesam, pustio sam ljubav svog života, pre pet godina. Osjećaj srca, gospođice Karon

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Definately a no, no on the straying...cheating is cheating either way you look at it. If they chose to stay they knew what the consequences would be. You can't tell someone I love you babe...i'll be back in an hour since you can give me what i need....how degrading would that be for the person who is unable? That to me just means the person loves themselves more than they do you...and if that were the case then they should have left because it shows they are only there for the wrong reasons...guilt, pity, ect.


    p.s... Lips, you need to get on yahoo or fb...we have some long overdue gossip to catch up on!!!  lol

    Definitivno ne, ne zalutanju... varanje je varanje kako god da pogledate. Ako su odlučili da ostanu, znali su kakve će biti posledice. Ne možeš reći nekome da te volim dušo...Vraćam se za sat vremena pošto mi možeš dati ono što mi treba....koliko bi to bilo ponižavajuće za osobu koja nije u stanju? To za mene samo znači da osoba voli sebe više nego tebe...a da je to bio slučaj onda je trebalo da ode jer to pokazuje da je tu samo iz pogrešnih razloga...krivca, sažaljenje, itd.


    ps.. Lips, treba da uđeš na iahoo ili fb...mi moramo da nadoknadimo neki trač!!! lol

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    People often use the saying..
    "if you love something, set it free.
    If it was meant to be, it will come back, If not, it wasn't.."

    In my opinion, real love should never be based off of not being sure of what you want or what is right..
    Real love, no matter what the circumstance, should never have to be questioned.
    When you love someone, you love them for who they are and never WHAT they are or become. 
    Love is boundless..

    In this situation, if they truly love each other, questions would never be necessary for whether or not they should continue their lives together..if they were engaged, they should never have any doubts over something like that...
    And if they did, well then it just wasn't meant to be in the first place..

    Ljudi često koriste izreku..
    „Ako nešto voliš, oslobodi to.
    Ako je trebalo da bude, vratiće se, ako nije, nije..."

    Po mom mišljenju, prava ljubav nikada ne bi trebalo da se zasniva na tome da niste sigurni šta želite ili šta je ispravno.
    Prava ljubav, bez obzira na okolnosti, nikada ne bi trebalo da se dovodi u pitanje.
    Kada volite nekoga, volite ga onakvog kakav jeste, a nikada ono što jeste ili postaje.
    Ljubav je bezgranična..

    U ovoj situaciji, ako se istinski vole, nikada ne bi bila potrebna pitanja da li treba ili ne treba da nastave zajednički život..da su vereni, nikada ne bi trebalo da sumnjaju u tako nešto...
    A ako jesu, onda to jednostavno nije trebalo da bude na prvom mestu..

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Let's toss some reality into this discussion. 

    Yes, many would be caught up with "YES!  You know I would still marry you!!! Our love is greater than that wheel chair!!!"  I mean, how sweet!  The stuff of a Halmark made-for-TV movie! 

    But....as time moved on....and years past by....

    The statistics tell us these type marriages are almost CERTAIN not to last.  And you can imagine the reasons.  What young man is going to stay in a sexless marriage with a cripple, for example?

    However, if the accident happened after years of healthy marriage, the chances are good it would last, though.  People really diss marriage.  But, the reality is a healthy marriage is a very powerful bonding force of stablity and able to withstand hardships.

    And....."living together" has been proven not to be the same stability as marriage.  Sorry "shack uppers!"  Your may be the exception, but the data is in - marriage is still king/queen.

    Hajde da ubacimo malo realnosti u ovu diskusiju.

    Da, mnogi bi bili uhvaćeni sa "DA! Znaš da bih se ipak udala za tebe!!! Naša ljubav je veća od te invalidske kolica!!!" Mislim, kako slatko! Stvari Halmarkovog filma napravljenog za TV!

    Ali...kako je vreme odmicalo....i godine prošle....

    Statistike nam govore da ovi tipovi brakova skoro SIGURNO neće trajati. I možete zamisliti razloge. Koji mladić će ostati u braku bez pola sa bogaljem, na primer?

    Međutim, ako se nesreća dogodi nakon godina zdravog braka, velike su šanse da bi ipak potrajala. Ljudi zaista ne vole brak. Ali, realnost je da je zdrav brak veoma moćna sila stabilnosti i sposobna da izdrži teškoće.

    I... dokazano je da "zajednički život" nije ista stabilnost kao brak. Izvinite "gornje kolibe!" Vi ste možda izuzetak, ali podaci su u vezi - brak je i dalje kralj/kraljica.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Why would anyone throw away a chance at happiness just cos they 'think' the other isn't going to be happy. Life is full of chances, take it. If the other decides that they want out later on, oh well. You take that chance anytime you commit.

    Zašto bi neko odbacio šansu za sreću samo zato što 'misli' da drugi neće biti srećan. Život je pun šansi, iskoristi ga. Ako drugi odluči da želi izaći kasnije, dobro. Tu šansu iskoristite kad god se posvetite.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    I don't know what I would do.  Honestly... no clue.

    As for the cheating. Nope.  That would be and has always been the one marriage deal breaker for me.  I know some say if you work through it it can make marriages stronger..yadda yadda.

    After 24 years and 3 kids, if my husband strayed... I'd walk.

    There was a guy who auditioned for American Idol.  His fiance' was in a bad car accident and was wheeled into the audition.  She looked pathetic (sorry), not very coherent, shaking, etc.  He loved her and said he would stay with her forever. 

    Ne znam šta bih uradio. Iskreno... nema pojma.

    Što se tiče varanja. Jok. To bi za mene bio i uvek je bio jedini prekid bračnog ugovora. Znam da neki kažu da ako radite na tome, brakovi mogu biti jači..iadda iadda.

    Posle 24 godine i 3 dece, da je moj muž zalutao... prohodala bih.

    Bio je tip koji je bio na audiciji za American Idol. Njegov verenik je doživeo tešku saobraćajnu nesreću i odveden je na audiciju. Izgledala je patetično (izvini), ne baš koherentno, tresla se, itd. Voleo ju je i rekao da će ostati sa njom zauvek.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    I have another thought on this one...of course it's easy to "think" of what we would do in a situation like this but no one really knows for sure until it happens. Anyways what I was gonna say is when you think about it what is the real reason you are in a relationship with someone? For me,when I love someone the thing I love most is the company, conversation and just having those feelings returned, so why would I want to leave the person I love being at home with? I have friends to go out with, toys if needed, but the person who makes my day by just being there at home and watching tv with me, having dinner and discussing everything under the sun with is still there wheelchair or not.......

    Imam još jednu misao o ovome...naravno da je lako "misliti" šta bismo uradili u ovakvoj situaciji, ali niko zaista ne zna sa sigurnošću dok se to ne desi. U svakom slučaju, ono što sam hteo da kažem je kada razmislite o tome koji je pravi razlog zašto ste u vezi sa nekim? Za mene, kada volim nekoga, ono što najviše volim je društvo, razgovor i samo vraćanje tih osećanja, pa zašto bih želeo da ostavim osobu sa kojom volim da bude kod kuće? Imam prijatelje sa kojima mogu da izađem, igračke ako je potrebno, ali osoba koja mi ulepšava dan tako što je samo kod kuće i gleda televiziju sa mnom, večera i razgovara o svemu pod suncem je još uvek u invalidskim kolicima ili ne... ...

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Nice post satan. smiley

    Lepo posle satana. smiley

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski
    Ahhh but my dear satan, spoken like a true female. We are nurturing by nature and put more stock in cozy time then men do. Maybe once your married for 25 years the guy is more content.

    But ask any 25-30 year old guy if he would be content to sit by a fire and eat popcorn for the rest of his life with no hanky panky and i think most would hit the door in a heart beat.
    Ahhh ali dragi moj satano, izgovoreno kao prava žena. Negujemo se po prirodi i stavljamo više zaliha u prijatno vreme nego muškarci. Možda jednom kada ste u braku 25 godina, momak bude zadovoljniji.

    Ali pitajte bilo kog momka od 25-30 godina da li bi bio zadovoljan da sedi pored vatre i jede kokice do kraja života bez panki i mislim da bi većina udarila u vrata u trenu.
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Hmmm.....I can't agree with you on that one. Every one of my boyfriends have been more "affectionate" than me and big time homebodys/couch potatoes. Sometimes my boyfriend right now drives with nuts with all his "baby, come here...I NEEEED one hug"...lol although I can't help but laugh everytime he says it!!! But heres to hoping no one here will ever have to make such a decision!!


    Oh...but I do agree with the hanky panky part...I don't think it matters what age they are, no sex isn't something any man would want to get used to.

    Hmmm.....ne mogu da se složim sa tobom oko toga. Svaki od mojih dečaka je bio "privrženiji" od mene i velikih kućnih ljubimaca/kauča. Ponekad se moj dečko trenutno vozi sa orasima sa svim svojim "dušo, dođi ovamo...TREBA mi jedan zagrljaj"...lol, mada ne mogu da se ne nasmejem svaki put kada to izgovori!!! Ali nadamo se da niko ovde nikada neće morati da donese takvu odluku!!


    Oh...ali slažem se sa delom o panki...mislim da nije važno koliko su godina, nijedan seks nije nešto na šta bi bilo koji muškarac želeo da se navikne.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    lipstick....bingo!  You got the HUGE issue with this idealistic approach to long term marriage and relationships when the subject at hand is a factor.

    Our Halmark Card hearts and brains AT FIRST want to say "I'll love you forever, even though you are in a wheel chair!"  Yeah...right!  Again, if this bad occurance happened in the midst of a healthy marriage it is likely to survive.  Otherwise, everyone is better off with a dose of honesty and bring the relationship to an end so both parties can move on.

    karmin....bingo! Imate VELIKI problem sa ovim idealističkim pristupom dugoročnom braku i vezama kada je tema koja je pri ruci faktor.

    Naša Halmark Card srca i mozak PRVO žele da kažu "Voleću te zauvek, iako si u invalidskim kolicima!" Kako da ne! Opet, ako se ova loša pojava dogodi usred zdravog braka, verovatno će preživeti. U suprotnom, svima je bolje sa dozom iskrenosti i privesti vezu kraju kako bi obe strane mogle da nastave dalje.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski
    Doc,

    It is difficult to throw everyone in the same bracket of "move on". Every person is so different. Some are much more sacrificing and compassionate and if they did walk away they are plagued by guilt.

    I am gonna stray away from the general consensus posted here and say that if i was the person who became handicapped i would let him go whether he liked it or not. If for any reason i had a change of heart and allowed it i would definitely allow him his occasional nite  on the prowl.

    It's a tit for a tat and sacrificing has to go both ways. And trust me that would be going wayyyyyyyyy out of my mindset under normal circumstances.

    Lips
    Doc,

    Teško je sve baciti u istu zagradu „kreni dalje“. Svaka osoba je tako drugačija. Neki su mnogo požrtvovaniji i saosećajniji, a ako i odu, muče ih krivica.

    Udaljiću se od opšteg konsenzusa objavljenog ovde i reći da bih ga pustio da ode, da sam ja osoba koja je postala hendikepirana, sviđalo mu se to ili ne. Da sam se iz bilo kog razloga predomislio i dozvolio to, definitivno bih mu dozvolio da povremeno lovi.

    To je sisa za kucka i žrtvovanje mora da ide u oba smera. I verujte mi, to bi u normalnim okolnostima izašlo iz mog razmišljanja.

    Usne
  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Lips....agreed!  We still need to hang that shingle together!

    SOME would sacrifice, but the overwhelming evidence is most would not.  Or worse, pretend to sacrifice, then ony have things fall apart later.

    Usne....dogovoreno! Još uvek moramo da okačimo tu šindru!

    NEKI bi se žrtvovali, ali veliki dokazi su većina ne. Ili još gore, pretvarajte se da se žrtvujete, a onda će se stvari kasnije raspasti.

  • Original engleski Prevod srpski

    Ahhh...the Paralyzed Bride gets her dream wedding.  I heard about this girl and now she is on Headline News.  Rachelle Friedman, now Chapman, was at her bachelorette party and got pushed into the pool and ended up paralyzed.  Her fiance has stood by her for the last five years, and they were finally married last month.  Rachelle never revealed the identity of the friend who pushed her in the pool and has forgiven her.  Congrats to the happy couple!

    Ahhh...Paralizovana nevesta dobija venčanje iz snova. Čuo sam za ovu devojku i sada je na naslovnim vestima. Rachelle Friedman, sada Chapman, bila je na svojoj djevojačkoj večeri i gurnuta je u bazen i na kraju je paralizovana. Njen verenik je stajao uz nju poslednjih pet godina, a prošlog meseca su se konačno venčali. Rachelle nikada nije otkrila identitet prijatelja koji ju je gurnuo u bazen i oprostio joj. Čestitamo srećnom paru!

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